What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
