i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
