You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize