So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
