wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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