Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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