So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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