If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
