Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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