plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
