I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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