i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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