I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
did i just pee glitter
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
