perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
