i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
