I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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