A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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