yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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