So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
