come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
