Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
