worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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