Plan B is the new Plan A
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So vagazzling was a success
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
