he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
