So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You're like the curious george of whores
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
