That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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