I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize