with your own penis?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
