i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
