just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
