Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
