The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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