Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
