plz talk dirty to me
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
