1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
