You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
