He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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