sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
