I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
