for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
