Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
