I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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