I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
