I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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