$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
