I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize