i just had sex bonerless
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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