Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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