That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
