ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
