Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
