I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
