i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
