Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
