I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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