Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
