Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
