if you like me you must not know who I am
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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