It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
