you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
