The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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