also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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