i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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